Our Adventures Begin
by DecaTilde
Summary: Originally written by hopeless-romance45, a.k.a. "Villains' Bad Girl", and an adaptation to the Season 8 premiere, "Road to the Multiverse". Now that Barbara's part of the family, what trouble will she get into when she joins Brian and Stewie on their journey through the multiverse? Sequel to "Now That I've Found You".
1. Prologue: Night of Passion

_Our Adventures Begin_

a _Family Guy_ fanfic

by hopeless-romance45 (a.k.a. "Villains' Bad Girl")

Hosted (and re-titled) by LDEJRuff

* * *

 _Original Author's Note:_ _Welcome everyone to the next chapter in my Family Guy fics! Brian and Barbara are married. What's going to happen next?_

* * *

Prologue - Night of Passion

* * *

Barbara smiled as she watched Lois put Stewie in his crib for the night. Ever since she and Brian got back from their weeklong honeymoon, she hung out with Stewie, seeing what she missed.

"Goodnight, sweetie. Mommy loves you", Lois said kissing him.

"I'll be downstairs with Brian", Barbara said. "If you need anything, just holler."

Stewie yawned as he watched her leave. He closed his eyes to sleep but was startled by a loud noise coming from downstairs. It sounded like laughing and moaning at the same time.

"What the deuce?" he asked sitting up. "Barbara? What's that racket?"

Stewie got no answer as the moaning continued. He climbed out of his crib to see what was going on. He walked to the stairs yelling again.

"Barbara! Brian!"

He stopped at the middle of the stars as he looked to see where that noise was coming from. He started gasping as he saw Brian and Barbara on the floor in the living room going at it, doggy style. He screamed at the top of his lungs running back to his room.

* * *

 _Hoster's Note:_ _Let's omit the intro. I usually don't start_ _my_ _fanfics with a show opening._


	2. Genetically Perfect Pig

Chapter 1 - Genetically Perfect Pig

* * *

Today was Quahog Clam day. At the beach, the town was holding a carnival to celebrate their holiday. Everything was clam related: games, shows, rides. Everything was to celebrate the clam.

"Step right up!" a carny said standing outside a tent that was labeled "Half Man-Half Clam". "Step right up! You won't believe your eyes! Step right up and see the half man half clam!"

"What a rip-off", Peter said as he, Lois, Chris, Brian and Barbara left the tent. "It's just Kim Cattrall sitting Indian style."

"Hey, check this out", Barbara said pulling Brian to a stand that said "Guess Your Weight."

The carny running the stand looked at her with a smile.

"Let's see", he said. "You weigh 130 pounds."

"Ugh, how dare you", Barbara said feeling offended.

She stepped on the scale ready to prove him wrong. The numbers on the scale flew until they read 114. Barbara jumped off the scale pointing at the carny.

"Ha! Put that in your pipe and smoke it", she said grabbing a teddy bear from the prizes.

She and Brian watched as Mayor West stood by the scale.

"Let's see", the carny said looking at him. "I guess 180 pounds."

Mayor West stood on the scale until the numbers read 15.

"Wrong", he said. "I'm 95% helium."

Brian and Barbara's eyes widened as they watched him float away into the air.

"How's that possible?" she asked.

"It's a cartoon", Brian said. "I don't question it anymore."

"Brian, Barbara, look what I won", Stewie said showing them a blue ribbon.

"Wow, what did you win that for?" Brian asked.

"For having the best pig in the competition."

"Wait, you bred a pig?"

"Sure did! Most genetically perfect one in the competition."

Brian and Barbara looked to see a giant pig that had muscles, buff arms and fists.

"Oh my god!" Brian and Barbara said at the same time.

"Yes, he's something, isn't he?" Stewie asked with a smile on his face.

"Are those fists?" Brian asked.

"Damn right! Show him, pig."

The pig raised his fist and punched Brian in the face. Barbara gasped as he went flying a few feet away.

"How the hell did you do this?" he asked as he got up.

"How did you keep this a secret from Peter and Lois?" Barbara asked.

"I'll let you in on a little secret", Stewie said. "I didn't do it. I got it from a farm."

"What the hell kind of farm breeds pigs like this?"

"Would you like to see it for yourself, Brian?" he asked.

"Yeah, I would", Brian answered.

"Can I come?" Barbara asked.

"Sure. This is going to blow your mind like the stereoptigog did in 1910."

* * *

 _A guy held a pair of goggles in front of him that had a picture on the lens. He smiled amazed as he looked into the goggles._

" _Hey, I'm in New York City!" he said._

 _He pulled the goggles away seeing he was just standing in his house. He was disappointed and frowned._

" _No, I'm not!"_

 _He put them back on and smiled amazed again._

" _Yes, I am!"_

 _The man pulled the goggles away again._

" _No, I'm not!"_

 _He put the goggles back on._

" _Yes, I am!"_

 _He pulled them off looking confused._

" _What's going on here?" he asked._

* * *

Brian drove Stewie and Barbara home to check out the farm that bred the muscular pig. Stewie took them to his room where he started opening a safe that was kept beside his dresser. Inside was a small remote of some kind.

"This is it", he said showing Brian and Barbara the remote.

"What's that?" she asked.

"It's how I got the pig", he answered. "You ever heard of the multiverse theory, Brian?"

"Well, of course I have", Brian answered. "But I'm wondering if you and Barbara have."

"So that means no, I'm guessing", Barbara said.

"Oh my god, so transparent", Stewie murmured. "Well, the theory states that there are in infinite number of universes coexisting with ours on parallel dimensional planes."

"Dimensional planes, right", Brian repeated acting like he knew what Stewie was talking about.

"Oh, don't do that. Don't repeat the last two words like you already kind of knew what I was talking about. You have no idea what I'm talking about."

"Cut him some slack", Barbara said. "Brian's probably having a brain fart today. We were up all night, weren't we?"

Stewie gave them a disgusted look remembering what he saw last night.

"Now in each of these alternate universes, the reality is different than out own", he continued. "Sometimes only slightly and sometimes quite radically. The point is every possible eventuality exists."

"And that's where you got the pig?" Brian asked. "In a parallel universe."

"Prepare yourself, you two and I'll show you", Stewie said standing close and pressing a few buttons on the remote.

The remote lit up and within a flash, Barbara, Stewie and Brian disappeared into the next dimension.


	3. Advanced Universe

Chapter 2 - Advanced Universe

* * *

Brian, Barbara and Stewie rematerialized in the new dimension they traveled to.

"Wow, what a rush!" Barbara said.

She and Brian looked around them astonished. Their eyes widened and their jaws fell open as they saw what looked like a futuristic city. There were flying cars and people flying using jetpacks.

"Where are we?" Brian asked.

"This is Quahog, Brian", Stewie answered. "Same year, same time. But in this universe Christianity never existed. Which means the dark years of scientific repression never occurred, and thus humanity is a thousand years more advanced. Ergo, muscular genetically perfect pigs."

"Hey look", Brian said. "There's Quagmire."

Barbara and Stewie turned to see Quagmire looking exactly the same except for the futuristic boots he wore. He was leaving the house of a woman which they all assumed he slept with.

"Thanks, honey", he said. "Say hi to your husband."

They heard a beeping coming from a machine in his pocket.

"Oh, I got AIDS again. Better take my Nyquil cold, flu and AIDS."

Quagmire took a couple of pills out of the machine and swallowed them.

"All gone!" he said with a smile.

"Wow", Barbara said. "If that medicine existed in our universe, it'd be a life-saving miracle."

"What time do you suppose it is?" Stewie asked.

"I don't know", Brian said. "About 3:30?"

"Watch the sidewalk."

Brian and Barbara looked at the sidewalk and right away they gasped.

 _Drop dead legs, pretty smile,  
hurts my head, gets me wild_

There came a young woman wearing knee-high boots, a mini skirt, and a tube top. She had long wavy hair and wore a hat and glasses they knew all too well.

"My god", Brian said. "Is that…Meg?!"

"36-D, Brian", Stewie said. "And you know what's amazing? In this universe, she's still one of the ugly ones. If you saw Lois, you'd have to put your penis in a wheelchair."

"Hey!" Barbara said jealous. "If Meg is considered ugly, what would I look like?"

"Look across the street", he pointed.

Brian looked and right away his jaw fell to the ground as he started drooling.

 _Mississippi Queen  
If you know what I mean  
Mississippi Queen  
She taught me everythin'_

This universe showed Barbara still as a dog. The difference in this universe showed her with curves like a human with long hair that went down to her tail. Brian sighed then fainted on the sidewalk.

"Ugh, that's real nice", Stewie said looking between Brian's legs which were spread out for all to see.

"Men", Barbara said rolling her eyes.

* * *

Brian and Barbara looked around in wonder as Stewie showed them around the city.

"Hey, is there a bathroom around here?" Brian asked.

"Oh, you need to go pee or poop?" Stewie asked.

"Poop."

"One poop removal", Stewie commanded.

Brian's eyes widened as they continued walking.

"Wow, did I just go poop?" he asked.

"You sure did. All digital!"

"Wow, where does it go?" Brian asked.

"It gets beamed to another dimension", Stewie said.

"Amazing", Barbara said. "This place has got everything."

"Let me ask you this", Brian said. "What about all the Renaissance art that Christianity inspired?"

"That was my first question too", Stewie said. "Come on and have a look at the Sistine Chapel."

They boarded a train that said Lightspeed Railway. Within half a second, Stewie, Barbara and Brian went from Quahog to the Sistine Chapel in Italy. The three of them went inside to see all the classical art inside gone and replaced with photographs.

"Wow", Brian said surprised.

"Yeah, with no Christianity to inspire Michelangelo, they gave the job to John Hinckley", Stewie said.

"How uninspiring", Barbara said looking unimpressed.

"Alright, are you guys ready to go home?" he asked.

"Are you kidding?" Brian said. "This is amazing."

"Can we see more universes?" Barbara asked.

"Hmm. Well, I haven't tried yet, but I don't see why not."

"There's a first time for everything", she smiled.

With a push of a button, the three of them were off to the next universe.


	4. Flintstones and Japanese

Chapter 3 - Flintstones and Japanese

* * *

Brian, Barbara and Stewie rematerialized in the next dimension. Their eyes widened as they looked around. Everything had a very 60s feel to it.

"Whoa, what's this place?" Stewie asked.

"Yeah, this universe looks weird", Brian said.

"It's very cheap and somehow lazy", Barbara said.

They turned to see their house looking a lot like the house from the Flintstones. Everything, down to the car was designed to look like the Flintstones.

"Yabba dabba hehehehe", they heard coming from inside.

Barbara, Stewie and Brian walked to the hole which was supposed to be the window and looked inside. There sat Peter on a stone couch dressed like Fred Flintstone. Lois came looking like Wilma.

"Rock Peter?" she said.

Out of nowhere they heard a laugh track like old television sitcoms.

"Yes, Rock Lois?" Peter asked.

"That was wonderful rock sex we had last rock night."

The laugh track laughed again.

"Yes, I enjoyed rocking you up the rock last night", Peter said

The laugh track laughed.

"I know", Lois said. "I'm glad you used that rock ring."

The laugh track laughed again which was really starting to get annoying.

"But we still always use a rock felactic", Peter said holding up a frog.

"I'm ribbeted for your pleasure", the frog said unhappy.

"What the rock?" Barbara said annoyed at the unfunny puns.

"Hey, guys", Stewie said. "Want to get the rock out of here?"

"Rock yeah", Brian said.

Stewie quickly pressed the button sending them to another dimension.

* * *

Brian, Barbara and Stewie landed in the new dimesion which was a vast improvement from the last one.

"Huh", Brian said looking around. "This looks like Spooner Street, only…something's not quite right."

Barbara looked around to see everything had a Japanese design to it. The houses looked like they were from Japan as well as the landscaping.

"According to the multiverse guide, this is a universe where the United States never dropped the atomic bomb on Hiroshima", Stewie explained. "So the Japanese just never quit!"

"Oh my god", Barbara said.

She, Brian and Stewie walked to the window and looked inside the house. Everyone was Japanese. Everyone had black hair and wore kimonos.

" _Meg, you are ugly and dishonorable_ ", Peter said in Japanese.

" _I make obedience to Father's wish_ ", Meg said bowing.

She took a knife and stabbed herself in the chest, falling to the floor dead.

" _I fart now_."

Peter got up and crouched over Meg's body and farted on her corpse.

" _Now I laugh because he fart_ ", Chris said laughing. " _Now I done with laugh_."

A Japanese Quagmire burst in through the door with no purpose other than to make a brief appearance.

" _Hello,_ " he said with a smile. " _I like many sex. Goodbye._ "

With nothing else to add, he closed the door and left. Japanese Brian and Stewie came and bowed to each other.

" _I no like you, but I like you!_ " Stewie said.

" _I no like you, but I like you too!"_ Brian said.

Japanese Barbara came and started humping Brian.

" _Me love you long time!_ " she said with a smile.

Japanese Lois came carrying a tray of food and sat it down in front of Peter, bowing.

" _I honor your penis by bringing it food_ ", she said.

" _My penis was hungry two hour ago!"_ Peter said before punching Lois, giving her a black eye.

She got up and giggled as she walked away.

"That's twisted", Barbara said. "Who laughs after getting punched?"

"Well, I think I've seen enough", Brian said. "Let's get back to our universe."

"All right", Stewie said. "Off we go."

He pressed the button making them disappear in a flash.


	5. Not Home Yet

Chapter 4 - Not Home Yet

* * *

With a flash, Brian, Stewie and Barbara stood outside the Griffin house.

"Ah, home sweet home", Stewie sighed.

"Well, that was fun and all", Barbara said. "But it's great to be back home."

Brian opened the door letting everyone inside. Peter sat on the couch reading the newspaper.

"Peter?" Lois called. "Peter?"

For some reason, the second call sounded depressing.

"What?" Peter answered. "What?"

Like Lois, the second time he said what sounded depressing. Barbara, Brian and Stewie looked at each other wondering what was going on. Why was everyone sounding normal and depressed?

"Can you take out the trash?" Lois asked. "Cause it stinks in the kitchen."

"Sure thing, Lois", Peter said. "Delighted to."

Peter put the newspaper down revealing a second head right next to his.

"I get tired when I stand", the second head said depressed.

Brian, Barbara and Stewie screamed as they saw the depressed head. They ran outside before anyone could see them.

"What the hell is this?" Brian answered. "This isn't our universe."

"Duh!" Barbara said.

"Apparently, this is a universe where everyone has two heads", Stewie answered. "One happy, one sad."

The two-headed Lois came into the living room. One head was happy while the other looked down sad.

"Honey, have you seen Stewie?" the happy Lois asked.

"I can't find him anywhere", the sad Lois said.

"I sure have!" the happy Peter said.

"He's over there, playing in the corner", the sad Peter said.

They all looked to see a two-headed Stewie. The heads were busy making out with each other.

"Wow, Stewie", Barbara said. "You're a sick kid."

"I want you to know I love you", the happy Stewie said.

"Oh, I'm trying to get excited about it", the sad Stewie said looking away.

"This is too freaky", Brian said looking scared. "Why didn't that thing take us home?"

"I don't know", Stewie said. "I told you it hasn't been fully tested yet."

"Well, we can't stay here. That's for sure."

They watched as a two-headed Barbara came into view looking at the two-headed Stewie.

"Hi, Stewie!" the happy Barbara said.

"Brian's gone to the Clam to drink again", the sad Barbara said.

" _And now, back to Channel 5 News at 6!"_ the TV played _. "Quahog's lowest rated news cast."_

 _A two-headed Tom Tucker sat at the news anchor desk with one happy head and one sad head._

" _The president's dog just had puppies!" the happy Tom said._

" _There was a plane crash", the sad Tom said_.

"Stewie, please tell me you know how to get us home", Brian said sounding desperate to leave.

"Hang in there, hun", Barbara said. "Everything will be okay."

"Of course I know how to get us home", Stewie said.

He pressed the button sending them into the next universe.

* * *

Within seconds, Brian, Barbara and Stewie arrived to the next universe. Only problem was they were stuck in a giant glacier frozen.

"S-s-s-so…." Barbara shivered. "S-so cold!"

"What the hell?" Brian said. "Stewie, what is this?"

"Well from the look of it, I'm guessing this is Quahog but during some sort of ice age", Stewie answered.

"Press the button and get us out of here!"

"Brian, the controller is right under you", Barbara said.

Stewie could barely move his hand inside the glacier.

"Uh oh", he said. "I can't reach the device."

"What?" Brian said. "You're kidding!"

"Yep, get comfortable. I think we're going to be here for a while."

Stewie looked away noticing something that made his eyes widen.

"Oh, look", he said. "There's your poop from the other universe."

Barbara looked and immediately regretted it.

"Could've gone without seeing that."

"Stewie, you got to get us out of here", Brian said. "If we stay in here much longer, we're either going to freeze or starve."

"I know, but I can't reach the device. You try it, you're closer. Besides, you're stronger than I am."

Brian's tail started wagging making the ice around him wear down, allowing him to move.

"Hey, what was that?" Stewie asked.

"You said I was stronger than you and it must've made me happy. So my tail started wagging."

"Looks like it carved through the ice a bit!"

"Yeah it did! Keep going!"

"Brian, you're so strong", Barbara said. "So strong, it's turning me on!"

Brian's tail wagged hard.

"It's working!" he said.

"You want to go for a walk?" Stewie asked. "You want a treat? You want a treat, boy?"

"Good! Good!" Brian said. "You really have one, though right?"

"Yeah, yeah."

"And we're going for that walk?"

"Oh definitely. And I'll give you a bath!"

"No, no!" Brian said as his tail stopped.

"Brian, when we get home we'll have as much sex as you want!" Barbara said.

His tail started wagging again.

"And I'll let you go for a ride in the car!" Stewie said.

"Oh, you better not be lying about that", Brian said.

"You want to sleep in the bed with us?"

"Oh yes! I never get to! Must be a special occasion!"

Brian's tail continued to wag until he moved enough to touch the controller.

"You got it! You're through!"

"Okay, what do I do?" Brian asked.

"Just press the red button", Stewie said.

"Um…which one is red?"

"Stewie, we're dogs", Barbara said. "Dogs are color blind. He doesn't know which one is red."

"Just press the big button!"

Brian used his tail to press the button, sending them to another universe.


	6. The Office and Disney

_Hoster's Note: I had a slight mixup with the documents. I incorrectly inserted the final chapter for the "Christmas Guy" adaptation that VBG will not be writing. Anyway, here's the **real** Chapter 5. I'm terribly sorry for the mistake._

* * *

Chapter 5 - The Office and Disney

* * *

Stewie, Barbara and Brian arrived to the next universe. They looked around seeing nothing but some sort of office.

"This can't be it", Brian said. "This doesn't look familiar."

"You're right", Stewie said. "Apparently, this is a universe where everyone has to take a poop right just now."

"What the hell kind of universe is this?" Barbara asked grossed out.

They turned to see some kind of conference happening. All the men were hopping around grunting with pained looks on their faces.

"Okay, Bill you got those numbers?" an employee asked.

"Yeah, yeah."

"Okay, just leave them on my desk."

"Okay, that works out fine for me. Where's your desk?"

"Doug knows where my desk is", the employee said. "Craig, are you good with this?"

"Yeah, it should work out pretty good for me, too."

Without saying a word, Stewie pressed the button sending him, Brian and Barbara into the next universe.

* * *

With a magical spur of light, Brian, Barbara and Stewie landed in the next universe. It was so colorful and smoothly animated. All three of them were designed to look cuddly and kid-friendly

"What the hell?" Brian said. "What's happened to us?"

"I don't know but I'm loving this place", Barbara said with a smile.

"Suddenly I feel all sweet and warm and fuzzy", Stewie said with a childish smile. "It seems we're in a universe where everything is drawn by Disney!"

"I love Disney!" Barbara said as all the Disney woodland animals surrounded them.

"Look, there's our house!" Brian said.

The Griffin house was designed to look like an old brick cottage. Brian and Barbara ran on all four feet while Stewie skipped.

"Look how gayly we run!" he giggled.

They went inside the kitchen to see Lois at the stove pulling out a freshly baked pie. She looked like Snow White except for her red hair.

"Oh, Brian, Stewie and Barbara", she said with a smile. "You're just in time for pie!"

"Did somebody say pie?" Peter asked.

Peter came floating into the kitchen following the steam that rose from the pie. As he smelled the pie, he suddenly broke out into song.

"Oh yeah, this is Disney", Barbara said.

" _It's a wonderful day for pie. You can ask all the birds in the sky. And they'll answer real sweet. With a musical tweet."_

Suddenly a bird that looked like Quagmire flew to the window and sang along.

" _It's wonderful day for pie."_

Meg and Chris were outside swinging on a tree. Chris looked normal but for some reason Meg had tentacles like Ursula from the Little Mermaid.

" _For pie",_ they joined in.

" _For pie."_

" _For pie",_ Lois sang.

" _For pie",_ a coffee kettle with Joe's face sang.

"This place is wonderful, Brian", Stewie said. "Let's live in this universe."

"Gosh, it's pretty intoxicating, isn't it?" Brian asked as he took the Joe kettle and poured himself some coffee.

"Yeah, I want to live here", Barbara said getting comfortable.

"I want to hear more music about pie", Stewie said.

Peter picked him up and held him over his head smiling.

" _It's a wonderful day for pie",_ he sang.

" _And it smells a lot better than I",_ a skunk that looked like Cleveland sang.

" _Everyone one in the house",_ a mouse sang.

" _And this Adam West mouse!"_ Peter pointed out.

" _The bees making honey",_ the bees outside sang as Chris ate honey from their hive.

" _This Tom Tucker bunny"_ , Tom Tucker sang.

Everyone joined in as they went into the house.

 _We all sing with glee. Cause we all agree, it's a wonderful, wonderful day for pie!"_

The wicked hag from Snow White came into the door. It was the old man Barbara dubbed Herbert the pervert.

"You want a nice shiny red apple to put in that pie?" he asked holding up a red apple.

"NO!" everyone yelled and threw pies at him.

Peter slammed the door and walked away to enjoy more pie. Barbara, Brian and Stewie sat down to eat pie after they got comfortable.

"We could spend the rest of our lives here!" Stewie excitedly said. "It's perfect!"

"I know", Barbara said. "It's almost as if we've died and gone to heaven."

"Sounds good to me", Brian said. "Doesn't seem to be a thing wrong with this place."

The door opened as Mort Goldman stepped inside.

"Hello everybody!" he waved.

With no warning, all the colors went dark as suddenly everyone lost their friendly charm and became evil.

"JEW!" they all said darkly.

They grabbed Mort and started beating him. Barbara grimaced as she, Brian and Stewie watched.

"Oh yeah, I forgot", Stewie said. "This is a Disney universe."

"What does Disney have to do with this?" Barbara asked. "Disney's supposed to be the happiest thing for the whole world."

"I'll explain when we get home", Brian said frowning as Stewie got the controller out.

"Oh look how shiny my buttons are!" Stewie said distracted.

"Just press the damn button!"

Stewie pushed the button. Out of the controller came Bruce dressed up as Tinkerbell. With a wave of his wand, he sent them off before the beating got anymore gory.

* * *

 _Original Author's Note: Yes there are rumors that Disney was anti-Semitic. I wish it wasn't true cause I want to believe Disney respected everyone in the world. Don't want the best part of everyone's childhood ruined._


	7. From Universe to Universe

Chapter 6 - From Universe to Universe

* * *

Barbara gasped as she looked around the new universe. Everything was made out of clay.

"Whoa, this is trippy", Brian said.

"I should say so", Stewie said. "We're in the _Robot Chicken_ universe."

"I love _Robot Chicken_!" Barbara said.

They looked in front of them to see Peter and Chris sitting on the couch.

"Will you guys move?" Peter asked. "You're blocking the TV."

With no reason at all, some action figures came into the house.

"Look!" Chris said pointing. " _GI Joe_ , _Transformers_ , _Thundercats_ , _He-Man_! Yay, those shows existed!"

"How's it feel to be on a major network for 30 seconds?" Stewie asked.

"**** you!" Chris yelled at him.

"Bye!"

Stewie pressed the button sending them to another universe.

* * *

The next universe was completely miserable. Stewie, Brian and Barbara were in Quahog, but everything was destroyed. It was as if someone nuked the town.

"My god", Stewie said. "This place looks terrible."

"Looks like Quahog was vaporized or something", Brian said.

"This isn't a universe with an alien invasion or Armageddon, is it?" Barbara asked.

"It says that in this universe, Frank Sinatra was never born, and therefore he was unable to use his influence to get Kennedy elected. So Nixon won the 1960 election and totally botched the Cuban Missile Crisis, causing World War III."

"Wow, so I guess Lee Harvey Oswald never shot Kennedy?" Brian asked.

"Nope, he shot Mayor McCheese."

"Look", Barbara said pointing to a TV that was barely working. "Footage of the shooting."

 _Mayor McCheese rode in a black car with one bodyguard and what looked like Jacqueline Kennedy with him. The roof was down for everyone to see them. Out of nowhere two gunshots rang out and McCheese was laying dead with the meat from his head splattered all over the car. Jacqueline got up and started eating the meat with no concern for McCheese_.

"That joke's not in bad taste, right?" Brian said.

"Oh, who cares?" Stewie asked. "He's a cheeseburger!"

"Are you really breaking the fourth wall?" Barbara asked. "Whatever, can we just get out of here?"

Stewie pressed the button.

* * *

The next universe was really weird. Everything was poorly designed as if with no effort.

"Ew!" Brian said looking around. "Where are we?"

"I don't know", Stewie said. "The device can't make heads or tails with it. It's just some weird, low resolution, blocky universe."

"This looks like something a third grader would make if he was in charge of animation design", Barbara said.

"Lois, where is my supper?" Peter asked as he moved weirdly.

"Still in the oven!" Lois said with the same movements.

"Will I have it soon?"

"Quite soon!"

"Thank you!"

"You're welcome!"

Then for no reason at all everyone shouted "nyah!"

"I'm frightened", Stewie said.

"Hold me", Barbara said grabbing Brian.

"Let's go", Brian said.

Stewie quickly pressed the button eager to leave.

* * *

The next universe was nothing but countryside with fire hydrants as far as the eye can see. Brian smiled as Stewie frowned and Barbara kept a straight face.

"Love it", Brian said.

"Hate it", Stewie said.

"Meh", Barbara said.

Stewie pressed the button sending them to a similar universe. This time it was nothing but countryside and gay men wearing nothing but speedos as they held balloons with a rainbow in the sky. Stewie smiled as Brian frowned and Barbara kept a straight face.

"Love it", Stewie said.

"Hate it", Brian said.

"Meh", Barbara said.

Brian pressed the button sending them to another similar universe. This time it had elements from movies and other TV shows. There was a pirate ship sailing across the sea in the middle of a battle. A wrestling ring was sitting down the hill with two big muscled men wrestling, and loud rock music was playing in the air. Barbara smiled as Brian and Stewie frowned.

"Love it", Barbara said.

"Hate it", Brian and Stewie said.

Stewie pressed the button sending them to the real world. Stewie sat holding the controller. Brian and Barbara said sniffing the air.

"Uh, guys", Stewie said unable to move his mouth. "This feels weird."

"Hit the button", Brian said.

Stewie pressed the button sending them to a universe that looked like a black and white detailed drawing. On Brian's collar was a button that said "Liberal." Stewie wore nothing but a diaper and a sash that said 2002 and was holding a platter.

"What is this?" Brian asked. "Feel like I'm on acid or something."

"How do you know what acid's like?" Barbara said. "Are you keeping drugs from me?"

"We'll talk about it when we get home", he grumbled knowing he was in trouble.

"According to the multiverse guide, this is a universe where everything is depicted as a Washington Post political cartoon", Stewie said.

"I hate political cartoons!" Barbara moaned.

"Good lord, I'm naked!" he said noticing the diaper and sash. "And why am I holding a dinner platter that says McCain/Feingold?"

Brian started laughing leaving Barbara confused.

"That's pretty good. That's funny."

"What is?" Barbara asked. "I don't get it."

"Oh god, let's go quick", Stewie said. "Here comes an overweight cat with dollar signs for eyes and a hat that says Social Security pouring a bucket that says 'Alternative Minimum Tax' over a sad Statue of Liberty holding a democracy umbrella."

Brian laughed even harder.

"Oh, yes! That ought to wake people up!"

"Shut the **** up," Stewie frowned.

"Brian, you're confusing me," Barbara said pressing the button.

* * *

The next universe had nothing. There was absolutely nothing. The only thing there was just a white background.

"Oh, my god, now we're nowhere!" Brian said.

"Not quite, Brian", Stewie said. "This _is_ a universe, but its only inhabitant is one really far away guy who yells compliments."

They turned around to see some guy standing in the distance.

"I like your shirt!"

"Thank you!" Stewie yelled back.

"Is that your wife, doggy?" the guy yelled. "She's very pretty."

"Thanks!" Barbara yelled back.

"This was nice," Stewie added.

Stewie pressed the button sending them off. When they reappeared they saw their house behind them.

"We did it", Brian said smiling. "We're back!"

"No, this is the universe of misleading portraiture."

Two guys picked up the cardboard that had the house painted on it and carried it away.

"Oh, wait. It's not so bad. There's the compliment guy! Hello!"

Two guys picked up the cardboard that had the compliment guy painted on It and carried it away.

"Oh, now they got all _three_ of us!" a discouraged Stewie reprimanded before pressing the button again.

* * *

 _Hoster's Note: I've added Stewie's line at the end, and made an adjustment to fit in with the fanfic. I've even made a few more edits in this chapter, like how the show titles are italicized, and how both instances of "(Bleep)" are replaced with "****"; I usually do this last when censoring utterances of the F-word in  my fanfics, unless some of them are rated Fiction M, like "The Secret Life of Biran: Extended and Deleted Scenes"._


	8. The Dog Universe

Chapter 7 - The Dog Universe

* * *

Brian, Stewie and Barbara arrived to the next universe. Brian looked like he was about to crack from all the craziness and just wanted to get home.

"We're finished", he said. "We're never going to get home. We're never going to see our Peter and Lois or anyone else we know ever again."

"It'll be okay, honey", Barbara said. "We'll get home eventually."

"You got your pal, Stewie", Stewie said with a smile.

"Great", Brian frowned.

"Aw, you could learn something from Compliment Guy. And you know, it's not as bad as you think. I may have finally figured this out. I just need to make a few more calculations."

Brian ignored what Stewie had to say as he looked around this universe. It looked the same as Quahog but this universe was inhabited by dogs. Humans were considered pets in this universe. Barbara noticed what was going on as a human woman came and sniffed Brian.

"Sorry about that", her owner said.

The woman jumped on Brian before her owner pulled her leash.

"Bad girl, Holly! No jumpies!"

"Oh it's quite alright", Brian said petting the woman's hair.

The woman started licking his paw before jumping up and licking his face.

"Uh, wow…this is ridiculous."

Brian continued letting her lick him until he was on the sidewalk looking like he was in heaven. Barbara growled and grabbed his ear.

"Do we need to have a talk about this?" she asked jealous.

"No!" he said. "Now, I'm good. I'm good."

Brian grabbed the controller away from Stewie.

"Hey, what the hell are you doing?"

"I just don't think we should be too hasty", he shrugged with a smile on his face. "I mean, we have a unique opportunity to study alternate universes in depth."

"Brian, you said you wanted to go home", Barbara said. "Now give Stewie the remote so we can go home."

"Come on, Barbara. Take my side."

"Brian, give me the damn device", Stewie said reaching for it.

The two fought over the controller until Brian pushed Stewie off him, making him fall along with the controller, shattering it to pieces.

"What the hell, man!" Stewie yelled. "What the hell! Look what you did!"

"That was our only ticket home!" Barbara said.

A dog dressed as a cop came toward Brian and Barbara carrying a collar and a leash.

"You'd better put that thing on a leash or I'll have to fine you", he said.

"Don't worry, Stewie", Barbara said holding him still while Brian put the collar on him. "When we're alone, we'll make sure Brian gets punished."

"What the hell were you thinking, Brian?" Stewie asked looking at the broken remote. "We're never going to get home now. Why the hell would you break the damn device?"

"Look, it was an accident, okay?" Brian said. "And besides, look at this place. It's a world run by dogs. I mean, I kind of want to explore this universe."

"We are so not having sex when we get home", Barbara said crossing her arms.

"Oh, you like role reversal?" Stewie asked. "Okay then."

Barbara and Brian watch as he walked into the park. Both were grossed out as he pooped in the middle of the park.

"Pick up my poop", Stewie said as he came back with an angry look on his face. "Pick up my poop!"

"I'm not picking up your poop", Brian said.

"Hey, you!" the police dog said. "Pick up that poop!"

"You heard him, Brian. Pick up my poop."

"Barbara?" Brian said looking for help.

"You started this", Barbara said looking away.

"I need a plastic bag", he said looking around them.

"Here's a thin napkin", Stewie said pulling a napkin from his pocket.


	9. Griffin Dogs

Chapter 8 - Griffin Dogs

* * *

Brian, Stewie and Barbara went to the Griffin house in the dog universe.

"Okay, we're new neighbors and your our pet human, Hotchkis, got it?" Brian said making sure everyone got their story straight.

"What kind of a name is Hotchkis?" Barbara asked. "I really want to know."

"I'm not so crazy about "Hotchkis" anymore", Stewie said.

"What do you mean?" Brian asked. "You came up with Hotchkis."

"I know, but how about Axel or Maximillian or Dex? You know, it's got to have an "x" in it 'cause that means I have cool parents who take me on expensive ski trips on spring break and I get to drink wine with dinner even though I'm only 14 and—"

Brian rang the doorbell to shut him up. They heard rapid footsteps and a loud voice that sounded like Peter inside.

"Oh my god! I know that sound! It means there's a potential intruder at the front door, or one of my pals! Either way, I'm excited and ready for anything!"

The door opened revealing a dog version of Peter.

"Hello!"

"Hello, my name is Blake Carrington", Brian said.

"I'm his wife, Vanessa", Barbara said.

"And this is our human, Gabe."

"Oh no! What?" Stewie asked said he didn't get a cooler name.

"We just moved in down the street and thought we'd stop in and say hi to all our new neighbors", Brian said.

"Well, great to meet you", Peter said. "Come on in. I'm Peter."

Peter led them inside. Everything inside was exactly the same as it was in the normal human universe.

"This is my family", Peter said. "My wife, Lois."

They saw a dog version of Lois. Her tail wagged as she smiled.

"My son, Chris", Peter continued. "Chris, stop licking yourself and say hi!"

The sheepdog who was supposed to be Chris got up and smiled as he panted.

"My daughter, Meg."

Meg in this universe was an ugly dog with a drooping face as she growled and drooled.

"Our puppy, Stewie."

Stewie was a poodle who wore red ribbons on his ears.

"Oh Stewie is adorable!" Barbara said.

"And these are our humans, Brian and Barbara."

"Nice to meet you", the human Brian said.

"Hello", the human Barbara said.

Barbara and Brian gasped as they saw the human versions of themselves. The human Brian had black hair, a large nose, a red collar and wore a white sweater and black pants. The human Barbara had long blonde hair, a long nose, a blue collar and wore a yellow sundress.

"Say hi to human Brian, Black", Stewie said. "You too, Vanessa. Say hi to human Barbara."

"Hi", Brian awkwardly said.

"Hello", Barbara said.

"Mommy, I want to play with the new human!" puppy Stewie said.

"Only if it's okay with Blake and Vanessa", Lois said.

"Yeah, sure it's fine", Brian said. "Gabe is great with puppies."

"I swear to god", Stewie whispered. "I hope the next universe we visit is all Koreans."

The puppy Stewie took Stewie's leash and took him upstairs.

"Oh just look at them", Barbara said. "They're so adorable."

"Yeah, quite the pair", Brian said.

"We should have puppies someday."

"Us?" he asked shocked. "Puppies?"

The doorbell rang making Peter spring up and run for the door.

"Oh my god! Who is it? I got it!"

He opened the door revealing a dog using wheels to walk. Obviously, it was a dog version of Joe Swanson.

"Hey, Joe", Peter said.

"Bonnie and I are having company tonight", Joe said. "Wondering if I could borrow some wet food."

"Yeah, sure thing."

Stewie looked at Joe curiously. Peter smiled and gently poked his nose.

"That's Joe", he said. "He's our local human catcher. So don't misbehave or the human catcher will come after you, Gabe!"

"My name is not Gabe!" Stewie yelled before biting his finger.

Peter yelled and threw him onto the floor.

"You're in big trouble, you little crap!"

"You shouldn't have done that, little fella", Joe said. "You just earned yourself a trip to the pound!"

Joe took Stewie and through him into a van that said Quahog Human Control.

"Stewie!" Barbara said.

"Look, I'm sorry about this", Brian told Joe. "Let me just pay the fine or whatever and I'll make sure this doesn't happen again."

"You can pick him up tomorrow", Joe said. "Just bring a trash bag."

"What does he mean by that?" Brian asked the human Brian and Barbara and puppy Stewie.

"Any human that bites a dog gets euthanized", human Brian said. "You know that."

"They're going to put him to sleep?" Barbara screamed.

"If you want to put it that way, yes", human Barbara said.

"No, they don't know that", puppy Stewie said. "They're from another universe where dogs are subservient to humans."

"Oh you mean like that time we—"

"Yep."

"When we bounced around between universes?"

"Yep."

"And you couldn't figure out how to—"

"Yes!"

"Brian, they can't do this!" Barbara said.

"They're going to kill him!" Brian said. "We got to get them out of there!"

"It's a tough world here", human Brian said. "You hear about it every night on the dog news."

"It's sad", human Barbara said. "But what can we do about it?"


	10. Home

Chapter 9 - Home

* * *

Brian and Barbara went to the human pound with puppy Stewie, human Brian and human Barbara to help free Stewie. Joe was sleeping at the reception desk.

"We got to be quiet", puppy Stewie said.

All five of them tiptoed past Joe hoping they wouldn't wake him.

"Look, there he is", puppy Stewie whispered pointing to the jail cell.

Stewie sat in the cell along with three other men. He looked down at the floor looking completely sad. He raised his eyes to see everyone and smiled.

"Oh thank god, I'm saved!"

Stewie got up and ran to the cell door just as they all ran to the door as well. Puppy Stewie pulled a ray gun from his back pocket and fired at the door making it turn to dust.

"Oh, Stewie, you're safe", Barbara said hugging him.

"Come on, let's get out of here", Brian said.

"Alright, the three of you stand over there and I'll send you back where you belong", puppy Stewie said.

Barbara held Stewie's hand in one of her own and held Brian's in her other.

"Gosh, Brian", Stewie said. "I sure hope this next leap will be the leap home."

"Wait!" human Brian said. "Take me with you."

"Brian, you can't go", human Barbara said taking his hand. "You belong here."

"What do you mean?" Stewie asked looking at human Brian. "You can't come back to our universe."

"Come on", he said. "A place where humans are in charge? I can't pass that up."

"Wow he almost sounds as selfish as you did earlier", Barbara said looking at Brian.

"Hey!" they heard.

Everyone turned to see Joe awake and crawling toward them.

"Get away from there!"

Puppy Stewie pressed a button on the remote he had that opened the portal to the universe home. Brian, Stewie and Barbara were sucked into the portal before Joe could catch up with them. Just as Joe caught up to human Brian and Barbara, Brian jumped into the portal before it closed.

"Brian!" human Barbara said jumping in after him.

* * *

With a flash of light, Stewie, Brian and Barbara made it back to their own universe. Human Brian and human Barbara fell the minute they arrived.

"Brian, you selfish jerk!" human Barbara said pulling human Brian's hair.

"Well, this looks like home", Stewie said looking around.

"Are you sure this time?" Barbara asked.

"Is there any way we can be sure?" Brian agreed.

They walked to the door and looked down the hall to see Meg standing outside Peter and Lois' bedroom.

"Mom, have you seen my trapper-keeper?" she asked.

Peter opened the door and grabbed her head, pressing it against his butt as he farted loud and long. He ran back into the room laughing leaving Meg to cry.

"Yeah, we're home", Stewie, Brian and Barbara said at the same time.

"Jinx!" Barbara said.

"What do we do about these two?" Stewie asked looking at human Brian and human Barbara. "We got two Brians and two Barbaras in our universe."

"Don't worry", human Brian said. "I don't plan to stay in Quahog."

"Then where are we going to live?" human Barbara asked.

"We're going to go out into the world and see what we can make of ourselves. We can be somebodies here."

"Well, it should be easy for you cause, I mean what luck", Stewie said. "You're white! You have no idea how big that is here."

Human Brian took human Barbara's hand as they stepped outside the house.

"Goodbye, Stewie", they said. "Goodbye, Brian. Goodbye, Barbara. Maybe our paths will cross again someday."

They turned and walked out into the street.

"Look at them go", Stewie sighed. "Free in a world of their own kind. Where they can finally reach the full potential…"

He stopped as suddenly a car came and hit human Brian and human Barbara.

"Oh my god! They got hit by a car!"

* * *

The End

* * *

 _Original Author's Note: Thanks for reading and stay tuned for the next chapter in Brian and Barbara's adventures!_


End file.
